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I'm Easier
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I'm Disappointed When a Liar's Pants Don't Catch On Fire
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I'm Confident My Last Words Will Be, "Are You Fucking Kidding Me?"
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I'm Bullet Fine
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I'm Back By Popular Demand
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I'm Awesomer Than Most
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I'm Awake Please Respect My Privacy During This Difficult Time
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I'm At A Place In My Life Where Running Errands Counts As Going Out
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I'm Already Planning What I'm Going To Eat After This
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I'm A Second Hand Vegetarian
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I'm A Leader Not A Follower Unless It's A Dark Place Then Screw It You're Going
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I'm A Broccoli And I Look Like A Tree, I'm A Walnut And I Look Like A Brain
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I'll Stop Being A Sarcastic Bastard When You Stop Being A Stupid Fuck
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I'll Make Better Mistakes Tomorrow
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I'd Like To Thank My Legs For Always Supporting Me
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I Would Rather Cuddle, Then Have Sex. If You're Good With Grammar, You'll Get It
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I Would Lose Weight But I Hate Losing
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I Would Like To Apologize In Advance For My Behavior Tonight
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I Would Do Me
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I Workout, So I Can Eat like Garbage
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I Work So My Dog Can Have A Better Life
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I Wonder If Pizza Thinks About Me Too
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I Wish I Were A Nicer Person But Then I Laugh
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I Washed My Hands Before It Was Cool
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I Was An Atheist Before I Realized I Was God
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I Want To Go Home
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I Want Time To Sit, Read, Take A Nap And Snack Go Back To Kindergarten
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I Want Someone To Look At Me The Way I Look At Beer
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I Used To Care But I Take A Pill For That Now
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I Understand I Just Don't Care
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I Try To Be A Nice Person. But My Mouth Doesn't Cooperate
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I Tried It At Home
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I Took A Pain Pill Why Are You Still Here
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I Told My Wife To Embrace Her Mistakes She Hugged Me
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I Thought I Was Wrong But It Turns Out I Was Mistaken
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I Thought I Had Social Anxiety, But It Turns Out I Just Don't Like People
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