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I Told My Wife To Embrace Her Mistakes She Hugged Me
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People Who Tolerate Me On A Daily Basis... They're The Real Heroes.
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A Day Without Coffee Is Like... Just Kidding, I Have No Idea.
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You All Realize I'm Going to Snap One Day Right
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I Would Lose Weight But I Hate Losing
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I Survived The Coronavirus 2020
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Always Give Houndred Percent Unless You're Donating Blood
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Nothing Is Really Lost Until Your Wife Can't Find It
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Tell Your Dog I Said Hi
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I May Not be Perfect But At Least I'm Not a Democrat
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The Police Never Think It's As Funny As You.
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Once Upon A time I Didn't Care Still Don't The End
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Come To The Math Side We Have Pi
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My Favorite Childhood Memory Is My Back Not Hurting.
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Four Twenty Clock
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My Mom Didn't Raise A Dummy, And If She Did It Was My Brother
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You Don't Do Stupid Things While Young You'll Have Nothing To Smile About When Old
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You Know What I Like About People? Their Dogs.
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Social Distancing Champion
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He He He Laughing Gas
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Algebra Stop Asking Us To Find Your X She's Never Coming Back Don't Ask Y
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It's Fine I'm Fine Everything Is Fine
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I Didn't Fart. My Ass Blew You A Kiss.
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This Is Only A Drill
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Are These People Really My Relatives?
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My Favorite People Call Me Mom
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#1 Thing I Say To My Kids "I Love You" After It's Mostly Just Muttered Profanity.
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I Work So My Dog Can Have A Better Life
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I Want My Dog's Life
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My Mom Didn't Raise A Dummy, And If She Did It Was My Sister
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My Favorite People Call Me Dad
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I Find Your Lack Of Math Disturbing
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I Like Weed And Maybe 3 People
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I Am Older Than The Internet
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I Just Want To Drink Wine & Pet My Cat
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If I Can't Bring My Dog I'm Not Going
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