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Almost Every Hand You've Ever Shaken Has Had A D*ck In It
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Nothing Is Really Lost Until Your Wife Can't Find It
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Of Course I Talk To Myself Sometimes I Need Expert Advice
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When I Was A Kid This Is Not What I Expected
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Bigfoot - Hide And Seek Champion
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I'm Old but I'm Like Cool Old
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My Stomach Is Flat The L Is Just Silent
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I Got A Dig Bick You That Read Wrong You Read That Wrong Too
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You Can't Tell Me What To Do You're Not My Dog
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As You Get Older Enjoy Taking Naps and Getting Spanked
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Don't Be A Richard
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I Often Worry About The Safety Of My Children
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Fun-cle Similar To A Dad Only Cooler And Better Looking Handsom, Exceptional
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Calm Down Karen I'm Not The Manager
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I'm Confident My Last Words Will Be, "Are You Fucking Kidding Me?"
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The Voices Are Back Excellent
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Every Day, Thousands Of Innocent Plants Are Killed By Vegetarians
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I'm Just Here To Establish An Alibi
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My Favorite Childhood Memory Is My Back Not Hurting.
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I'm Not Childish You're Just A Big Doody Head
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Common Sense is Like Deodorant
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Bacon Elements
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It's Just A Matter of Time Before They Add The Word Syndrome After My Last Name
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It's Ok If You Disagree With Me. I Can't Force You To Be Right
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Just Because It's A Bad Idea Doesn't Mean It's Not Going To Be A Good Time
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A Quiet Man Is A Thinking Man. A Quiet Woman Is Usually Mad
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Chances Are If It's Tasteless And Inappropriate, I Will Think It's Totally Hilarious
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Sometimes I Wake Up Grumpy Sometime I Let Her Sleep
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Trying To Be Less Of An A**hole Than I Was Yesterday... Baby Steps. F*ck You.
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Baseball Is Wrong, Man With Four Balls Can Not Walk
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Your Team Sucks
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Sorry I'M Late. I Didn'T Want To Come.
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You Can't Scare Me I Have A Daughter
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I Thought I Had Social Anxiety, But It Turns Out I Just Don't Like People
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Dogs Make Me Happy. You, Not So Much
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